Small and Simple Things

Joseph Smith once said that all religions have some measure of truth to them. I would imagine that this extends to non-Christian religions as well. If that is so, then I think that I have uncovered what the LDS version of Karma is.

Under Buddhism, Karma is the belief that one keeps coming back to the same life until a much needed lesson is learned and then the soul ascends onto a higher plane in its next existence.

The Mormon version of Karma is that you have to keep doing a calling until you get it right. That might account for the reason I was Elders Quorum President three times.

During one of my incarnations as EQP, I was called into the bishop's office and told that there was a couple who were going through difficulties in their marriage. The bishop of our ward asked me to go to the couple's home and counsel with them and try and get their marriage back on track.

I don't usually argue with bishops but this is one time when I made an exception. Not only did it seem unorthodox...but it also seemed downright dangerous. I had absolutely no training in couples counseling and I could only imagine the trouble that could rain down on my head in particular, and the church in general if I meddled in areas wherein I had no expertise.

The bishop was insistent, however, and so I played my trump card. I made him bear his testimony to me that this was something he felt inspired to do and wasn't just something done out of expediency. He did just that and so I accepted the assignment.

The couple in question had met and married a bit quicker than many people in the ward felt was wise and, now that the shine was off the new relationship, they were experiencing difficulties. The things that most couples work out during a courtship were things that this couple was having to work out after having already taken upon themselves the covenant of marriage.

As I drove to the couple's home, terror over all the possible mistakes I could make and all of the possible problems that could come from my screwing up (and let's face it, I excel at screwing up) overcame me; so I pulled over to the side of the road and said a prayer.

I got to the couple's home and, I no sooner sat down on the couch when the accusations began to fly from both sides. For five minutes, I couldn't get a word in edgewise because of accusations and insults followed by counter-accusations and counter insults.

Finally, they each stopped to take a breath and I was able to speak. I had no idea what I was going to say but, when I opened my mouth, the words just came out...

"Are you having family prayer each night?"

They looked at me like I was crazy, then they looked down and said, "no"

"Are you having family home evening?"

"No"

"Do you each have individual prayer?"

Neither one did.

"Do you read from the scriptures each day?"

"no"

"Do you pay your tithes and offerings?"

They admitted that they did not.

I scoured my memory for seemingly inconsequential things that the leaders of the church had been counseling its members to do since I was a child...things that seemed small and insignificant but that they constantly told us was important. In each and every area, the couple admitted that they were not doing those things.

Finally, I said, "It seems to me that if you were doing all of those things and you still couldn't get along with each other...THEN, we'd have a problem"

I got a commitment from the couple that they would start doing these 'little' things and I would check back in two weeks.

Three days later, I got a call in the middle of the night. It was the wife of the couple on the phone calling me to complain. The husband got on the extension so that he could represent himself.

I interrupted them and began asking the same questions I had asked when I was in their home. Before long, they realized that I wasn't going to budge from my position. They had given me a commitment and I was going to hold them to it.

After a few months, I noticed that the complaining phone calls had ceased. I also noticed that the couple began showing up in church regularly and were much more affectionate and kind to each other than I had ever seen them.

I realized what a powerful testimony had been given to me about the wisdom of the counsel we are given. That these small and seemingly insignificant things are the building blocks for the foundation to a happy home life.